The Email
by That Tath
Summary: She didn't realize she loved him until he nearly died. He didn't realize he loved her until he got The Email, but by then it was too late. TATE


**Disclaimer: I own the first two seasons on DVD. That's it. **

**A/N: Yeah, this probably REALLY original /sarcasm . But the idea stuck with me and since I have become addicted to TATE fics, I had to write it.**

Kate stared at the email she had started. _Dear Tony,_ it read. She sighed. Who knew that writing one simple email could be so difficult? She started typing again. _I feel like such an idiot writing this but-_ Kate shook her head and hit the backspace button. That was definitely not the right thing to say to Tony in an email.

Kate was sitting at her desk at NCIS late one night, trying to write an email to Tony.

An email that she had never sent to any coworker before.

An email in which she told Tony that she loved him.

Kate sighed again. Why was this so hard? All she had to do was write why she loved him. But why did she love him? She loved his smile, his charm, and even jokes. She knew why she loved him- but she couldn't write it down in the email. It always came out wrong- _Your smile melts my heart_ was too sappy. _I love your jokes, yes your sexist immature jokes Tony_ didn't exactly seem like it belonged in the email.

It had been about four days since Tony had gotten the plague and the image of him lying there coughing and barely able to talk was burned in her mind. It was in that moment that she realized how much she loved him. How much she would miss him if he died- and not just because he was her coworker.

She had spent the next few days trying to figure out what she was going to do. Should she just tell Tony that she liked him? But what if he didn't love her? She would be humiliated for the rest of the NCIS career. She had thought about not telling him anything and hoping that she didn't blurt something out one day.

It wasn't until she was about to leave work that the idea came to her- an email. She would send him an email. If he read it and told her that he felt the same way, then great. Everything would be fine. If he started joking about it then, well, let's just say that it can be helpful to have a coworker who could hack into her email. It would be easier to blame the whole thing on McGee.

And that brought her back to now, when she was sitting at her desk at NCIS late one night, trying to write an email to Tony.

Kate sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. She started typing again, her fingers flying over the keys as she typed out an email to Tony. She paused, read what she had typed and went back and deleted it. She then started again, typing for several minutes before stopping, rereading it, and deleting it. After many different tries, Kate had an email that, although not perfect, she was rather pleased with. Well, as pleased as she could be, since this letter had kept her up until nearly one in the morning.

Kate smiled, barely suppressing a yawn. She clicked the send button and shut off her computer.

XXXXX

Tony sat down at his desk. His eyes drifted over to where Kate's desk was, now empty, unused. He thought about how they used to argue over every little detail. He remembered her smile, the one that used to brighten up his day. He thought about how he used to try to figure out if he possibly loved her.

He remembered her funeral.

Tony sighed. He would never know if there could've been anything between them now. She was gone. He would never wander over to her desk just to annoy her. He would never fool her into thinking that the snake wrapped around her leg was dangerous. He would never talk to her again.

He tried to get her out of his mind. He turned on the computer and opened up his email. His inbox was flooded with everything from chain emails to advertisements, with the few serious emails thrown in there from various people. He went through and started deleting most of them, mainly the junk emails and most of the advertisements. He read through the serious emails, carefully going over each one before deleting it or replying.

At the bottom of the list was an email from Kate. It was dated about four days after he had gotten the plague. Tony hesitated, debating whether or not he wanted to read the email right now. Maybe he should read it in a few days... Tony frowned, but opened it up anyways, quickly reading through it. The look on his face went from serious to surprised to depressed in about a minute. He scrolled back up to the top and read it again, carefully analyzing every word in it.

_Dear Tony, _

_I would ask how you were doing and tell you to get better soon, but since you won't be reading this until you get back to work, I'll just skip over all of the get well stuff and go right to what I wanted to say. This is going to be awkward to phrase, so I'm just going to go out and say it. Tony, I think I may love you. _

_No scratch that, I know I love you. Yeah, awkward coming from me, right? The one person who is constantly complaining about how sexist and immature you can be is now telling you that they love you. Of course, you probably don't believe me at all right now. _

_So I'll say it again._

_I love you Tony. _

_-Kate_

Tony had to grin, thinking about all of the ways he could've tormented Kate after reading the letter. Now it didn't matter. Now Kate was gone and Tony would never torment her again.

Tony sighed and closed the email. He finally knew the answer to the question that he had thought about for a long time. They could've been together, if only one of them had gotten the courage to tell the other. Well, Kate had the courage; she just sent her email too late.

He opened up a new email and began typing.

_Dear Kate, _

_I got your email today. Kate, I love you too. I wish we had told each other sooner. I wish that we had had at least a little bit of time together. But most of all Kate, I wish you didn't die on that rooftop. God I miss you so much right now. It's just not the same without you here right now. _

_But I guess we'll move on, eventually. We've got a new agent already, some chick called Ziva. She's kind of hot, in an I'll-rip-your-head-off sort of way. She can never replace you, of course. I can't even annoy her like I used to bug you all of the time, although we always get a laugh over her mutilation of the English language. She does like to complain about my movies though, like you did Kate. Sometimes it seems like you're still here when she starts going on about how I mention my movies all the time._

_Except you aren't here and I can't annoy you. You'll never read this email and will probably never know that I love you Kate. If there is a heaven, I hope that you're watching me now so you'll know that. I know now that I've always loved you and I always will, even if you aren't here anymore. _

_I miss you Kate. _

_Love, _

_Tony_

Tony clicked the send button and shut down his email. Someone would be cleaning out Kate's computer in a few days and then the only record of their love would be the two files on Tony's computer: one email sitting in his inbox and one email sitting in his sent emails.


End file.
